I wrote this list recently and meant every word. And not that I don't anymore, but sometimes life happens and it's harder to see the good in things.
When your husband's 4 year old car breaks down and suddenly you need to come up with an extra $3 grand to get it going again.
When your unemployed, uninsured self is in pain that can no longer be ignored and an emergency root canal is needed...another $1-2 grand.
When all of the above goes down in less than a week and said getaway that you were looking forward to for months can no longer happen because you can't even justify the gas and groceries to just take a break.
When your exhausted husband gets up early to go to work on a day he thought he'd have off.
When you thought the tears were done and this was all trivial and they pour out again , because just thinking of the circumstances can only make you ask "why?" Why now? Why us? Can't we ever get a break? Can't life pick on someone who has the means to deal with it?
When getting in that mood makes all the little things that didn't seem so bad before seem suddenly more awful than ever.
When God has proven over and over again that He will supply all our needs and we struggle with the lie that this need is too big, or dare to ask why He can't supply it now and end our stress.
When you struggle and struggle to find the good in the situation. It was easy before. We can always make the best of things, right? Even a lesson would be nice.
But right now it seems too fresh, too cruel. I feel like a whiny child in light of the suffering of others, but I can't see a benefit, can't see a reason.
I'm sure we will on the other side of this...we just wish it were here right now.
Til then, back to the list to remember the good things that do matter and attempt to get in the right frame of mind for the season.