Once upon a time, in Bible Study (maybe 4-5 years ago?), we read and discussed the well-known title Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free.
I'd heard good things about it and was excited to read it. Some things were helpful and enlightening. Some things irritated me (I have a huge issue when it looks like Christian women authors try to push their personal agendas in their books). Some things seemed so basic, I felt they didn't need to be said.
I don't remember every lie in the book, but I do remember one that fits into the latter category:
God doesn't love me.
While I never want my blog to be a place of whining or negativity, I do want to be real. Life has it's ups and downs and it's just wrong to let anyone believe that the Christian life is a cake walk. I also know that the enemy doesn't want us to share things; he wants us to continue believing we are alone in our suffering when it is so far from the truth.
It just so happens that in my case, life has had a lot of downs in the past six months. Even though I'm not feeling particularly encouraged by now, hopefully I can be of encouragement to someone else.
Back to the lie: I was raised in Sunday School. I "asked Jesus into my heart" before I was even IN school. If there's one thing that has been drilled into my head, it's Jesus loves me, this I know...
I knew it through two surgeries, even though the results to date aren't as planned.
I knew it through a month of jury duty immediately after my surgery.
I knew it when I lost my job.
I knew it when Ben left his earthly home for his heavenly one.
I wish I could tell you what snapped, what brought me to tears in my church's Thanksgiving service. I was in a room full of people who knew what I knew. As person after person stood up to share their stories of God's faithfulness and provision, the tears came and the lie crept in.
God provided for them. God used the church family to help them. He's forgotten you. He's not providing for you this time. He doesn't care about you. You're on your own.
I know it's a lie. I hope by next Thanksgiving I'll be standing up sharing how we were hit with trial after trial and how God provided and taught us anyway.
In the meantime, I admit it's not easy. I admit I've cried and worried every day for over a week. I'm not perfect and any Christian who says they are is delusional.
That being said, it's still worth it. Even with the lies of Satan in my face in the middle of church, I'd rather go through this with Christ than without.